do you still

do you still look
into those
tucked away places

small streets
and alleyways

seeking feral
cats and their
kittens

do you still seek
with hunger
the possibility
of strangers
becoming
not

are you still
open
to wonder

the way
you once
were?

if so,
please
explain
the way

tell me how
to go back
to that place

from which
they’ve said

there is
no
returning

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2.

the first step
is recognition:

that there are those
to whom the
hostility
of this country
was never
disguised
as a welcome hand

the legacies of war
live on
in our bones
in the land

of the lies
that we’ve been told
the greatest
is that the war
on this land
ever stopped

that the invaders
still commit
quiet,
slow
massacres

and every
so often
we are pulled
to pay attention
to the noise.

1.

this has always been
a hostile country

even though its veils
of freedom and democracy
somehow allowed me queerness

it took, as the price,
my history, my belonging,
my freedom

it beats
at my loved ones

a country built
upon white entitlement
on stolen land

a country built
on genocide and war

this country
has always been
a hostile country

and now
it no longer
tries to disguise
its hostility

—–

It has been hard to write. But we must, right?  

on age

if there is
something
you think
you are too old
to do

you better
hurry up
and do it

because
you’re not
getting any
younger

and that
thing
is not getting
any
done-er.